[please note that I have known this chick for about a week]
Emma: I live in Griffin and I don't drive.
Jono: Griffin? Wow.
Emma: Yeah, it's the town where everyone knows everyone. If you tell someone a secret, everyone will find out.
Jono: Boo.
Emma: Like...everyone thinks I'm a whore. But I'm not.
Jono: Really?
Emma: Yeah, that rumor's been going around since I was eleven.
Jono: Uh huh.
Emma: It's because I was molested when I was seven.
Jono: ......................................
Emma: Yeah, so everyone just assumes that I sleep with everyone.
Jono: How...? I'm...uhh...sorry.
Emma: It's okay. I'm over it now. It's history.
[REALLY awkward silence]
Jono: ......BYEEE!!!
Jono: Oh my God. This chick is annoying the PISS out of me!
Elise: I can tell. I'm probably leaving soon.
Jono: Me too! She's driving me nuts!
Elise: She needs friends, Jono. She was molested. Maybe you should molest her and then she'll go away.
Mom: Jonathan, your Aunt Mildred died today.
Jono: Who?
Mom: Aunt Mildred.
Jono: ...WHO? I don't know who that is.
Mom: She gave you her car last year.
Jono: OHHHH!
[awkward silence]
Jono: BYEEEE Mildred!
Mom: .....................
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