Summer: Would you rather- fart in front of a whole group of people on stage (and they know its you) OR have the biggest, fattest black woman fart ON you?
Jono: Probably choice 2.
Summer: BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jono: I like to laugh at other people farting. If i did it, on stage specifically, that's just embarrassing.
Summer: I guess you'd be scarred either way...
Jono: True. And I don't like fat black women. Would YOU rather- poop your pants hardcore on stage, in a theatre in the round scenario OR eat a cockroach the size of a basketball?
Summer: AHHHH!
Jono: And the cockroach is still alive.
Summer: OMG! Don't do this to me!!!! Okay, are these people that I'm pooping in front of...are they my friends?
Jono: Your friends and a bunch of celebrities...
Summer: AHHHH!!! Like diarrhea or just like...a turd?
Jono: It's a mess...like it's hardcore splattery
Summer: Oh no!
Jono: ...and you're wearing white
Summer: BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jono: But for option 2, the cockroach is alive when you eat it!
Summer: Can I kill it myself then eat it?
Jono: Nope. Your first bites are with it being alive and trying to crawl away.
Summer: Am I allowed to throw up the roach when I'm finished eating it?
Jono: Nope. You have to keep it down. BUT you may wash your mouth out with water afterwords.
Summer: So if I throw up from being so grossed out...I have to eat my vomit?!
Jono: Half of the vomit. Not the entire thing.
Summer: Just the vomit with roach pieces in it?
Jono: All of it because it would probably be mixed together.
Summer: UGGHHH!!!!! Fine, I'll shit my pants.
Jono: Are you sure? At this certain performance, the Miranda Sings-girl is there and is planning to propose to you afterwords, while you're still on stage. That is, if nothing goes wrong
Summer: Oh NO, she's there?!
Jono: Yep!
Summer: Wait! So she won't propose to me if I shit myself?!
Jono: Probably not. Oh! And the cockroach is infested with AIDS.
Summer: AIDS or the HIV virus? Like...will I live?
Jono: There is a 50/50 chance that you'll live.
[awkward silence]
Summer: I think I'll just shit my pants and be lonely and single for the rest of my life. :o(
Summer: Wait, so what would you do?! But instead, it would be a moth.
Jono: A moth the size of a basketball and alive?
Summer: Yup. Not infected with aids though
Jono: I'll shit myself. I'll just say it was my character in the play. I'd risk getting fired for changing my character to be mentally retarded for that performance.
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