12/29/2009

[text message conversation]
Samantha: Hey
Jana on Jono's phone: BOOBIES!
Samantha: Bahahaha! What are you doing?
Jana on Jono's phone: Drawing nude photos of myself.
Samantha: That's not weird at all...
Jana on Jono's phone: Nope. I'm hot.
Samantha: Haha! You're crazy!
Jana on Jono's phone: You're drunk!
Samantha: You are!
Jana on Jono's phone: This is actually Jana. Surprise!
Samantha: Haha! I knew something was up! Jono doesn't usually mention boobies til the 3rd or 4th text!

[drunken banter]
Emily: Oh! Let's dance with those people!
Jono: Ewww! No! Not THEIR kind!
Emily: [gasps] Do you not like black people?
Jono: No, I do! Sometimes, I just want to be a wannabe racist.

Blockbuster Guy: You actually just won 12 free movie rentals.
Jono: REALLY?! Can I rent them all now?
Blockbuster Guy: I would suggest that you do, because this offer expires on December 31st.
[30 minutes later]
Jono: Do you have any more of 500 Days of Summer or Something, Something, Something, Dark Side?
Another Customer: Yeah, I was looking for 500 Days of Summer too.
Blockbuster Guy: We have one copy left. Would you like this to be a part of your 12 rentals?
Jono: Sure.
Another Customer: Are you sure you don't have any more back there?
Blockbuster Guy: Nope, sorry, that's our only one...
[awkward silence]
Jono: [to other customer] Maaan, with all these movies, I hope I have time to actually watch this.

Jono: So, with these 12 rentals, can I rent 12 movies of the same movie?
Blockbuster Guy: ...sure, I guess. Why would you want to do that?
Jono: I noticed that you only have 12 copies of Taking Woodstock on the shelf...
Blockbuster Guy: ..............................
Jono: I'm not "that guy", but what if I was?!
Blockbuster Guy: Then we would reserve the right to tell customers that "some Asian ass rented ALL of our copies."