11/29/2009

Ashley: Are you on facebook?
Jono: I am!
Ashley: We should be pals! We'll be the best of buddies!
Jono: Okay! Yay! You'll be my first best buddy!
Ashley: Mine too!
Jono: Because I have no friends!
Ashley: Me either!
Jono: So when I friend you on facebook, pay no attention to the 1,084 other friends I have.
Ashley: Okay!...wait, what?!

Jono: I can't believe you, me, and Lena will be together for New Years!
Michael: It'll be amazing! Let's do something absolutely wild, crazy, and potentially something that we might regret.
Jono: Hell yeah! No threesomes though. I love you and Lena, but...
Michael: Alright. But you'll understand if I kick you out of the room, right?
Jono: NO! If there's ANY sex at all, I'm getting in on some of the action. Sucks for you, bro.
Michael: Alrighty.
Jono: Yup.
Michael: The most awkward threesome EVER!
Jono: Oh my God! I think we would all be crying.

Jono: After eight months, we're FINALLY drinking together again.
Michael: Hell yeah we are.
Jono: Some things never change.
Michael: Thank God! I miss this! What are you drinking?
Jono: JD and coke!
Michael: Yum!
Jono: Well...JD and diet coke.
Michael: There's nothing wrong with...wait, diet coke?
Jono: It's all I got. I know...it tastes like ass.
[awkward silence]
Jono: Not that I know what ass tastes like...
Michael: Sure.
Jono: ...oh wait. I do...
Michael: ...I don't either...
Jono: ...I mean, I don't eitherrr...
Michael: ?????
[awkward silence]
Jono: Beh heh!

Jono: How much longer are you staying in Lexington?
Michael: Til May. I'm here for SETC.
Jono: What does that mean?
Michael: I'll be in town for the conference.
Jono: OH! For a second, I thought you meant that you were representing your company at SETC. I was like...so if I were to audition, would I be auditioning for you? Awesome!
Michael: I would totally give you a callback!
Jono: Thanks! I'd be that guy that walks on stage and announces, "Jono Davis. Number 81. HI MIKEY!..."
Michael: And I'd be like, "Dude, What the fuck's goin' on? Drinks later?"
Jono: Then I'd say, "How about now?! Fuck you other companies! Anyone who wants to join, the more the merrier!"
Michael: Um, yes!
Jono: Then casting folks would hire us because we're balsy!
Michael: Everyone would leave too, because no one wants to sit through that.
Jono: True.
Michael: And they'd give us job offers over drinks. Between jaggerbombs.
Jono: Yep. And if not, I'd blow them in the bathroom.

Andrew: I have 12 hours of Christmas music on my iPod!!!
Jono: Oh my God! That's amazing! That's like 3 days worth of music!

[Facebook chat conversation]
Jono: NOM NOM NOM!
Melissa: Hey Jono!
Jono: I just ate you.
Melissa: Oh.
[awkward silence]
Melissa: Well fuck!
Jono: You're in my tummy now.
Melissa: Oh my! Make sure to eat some more friends so I don't get lonely.