[text message conversation]
Emily: I might have met Dr. Strangepants, but really I still don't believe you.
Jono: You did. And you should. He exists!
Emily: No!!!
Jono: You ho!
Emily: Slut!
Jono: I am! Let's go slutting together!
Emily: Yes!!!
[text message conversation]
Elise: I should make Quotent Quotables! I need to say something crazy and random, though.
Jono: Okay.
[10 minutes later]
Elise: BANANA HAMMOCK!!!
[in regards to farmville on facebook]
Ashley: Jana, I picked the weeds in your garden.
Jana: Thanks!
Jono: Ummm.....
[after a 30-minute phone conversation]
Caldwell: Well, Mr. Davis, I've really enjoyed talking to you.
Jono: Thank you for chatting. I'm sitting at a bar by myself, like a loser, waiting for my friends to get here. I just needed something to do.
[awkward silence]
Jono: ...but it was great talking to you, as well.
[awkward silence]
Caldwell: Jonathan Davis! That was an awful cover-up.
Jono: I know. I'm sorry.
[excerpt from his New York Comedy Club routine]
Caldwell: Everyone has their one straight-acting, gay friend! The one that everyone goes, "Is he...?" They're like the Diet of Gay. I'm more like the Redbull of Gay. Except I won't give you wings. Though, I will give you hepatitis.
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