8/4/2009

Jonathan: Donate some plasma. Get $50!
Zack: Hell no! I heard that hurts like hell!
Jonathan: Probably. When we went, Lena fainted and I was turned down because I didn't have my social security card.
Zack: They thought you were an illegal alien! That's funny! Why would you gave plasma willingly?
Jonathan: This was like two years ago. We were poor. Well, not really. I guess we just wanted to make ourselves feel better as we sat among and judged all of the homeless people around us. Maybe we shouldn't have worn Abercrombie.
Zack: You and Lena should have worn your best clothes, then pointed at them and laughed! BAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!
Jonathan: Or...once we got our $50, we could walk through the lobby and say, "Psh. Pocket change. Let's burn this and create expensive confetti so we can dance around in it!"

[text message conversation]
Zack: I'm watching the food network and they are eating weird Korean food! I'm glad you're in this country and not eating that shit!
Jonathan: True story- When I went to Korea, I hated the food so I usually skipped out on meals. At the end of the trip, they gave me a loaf of bread. The translator thought I was unhealthy. I have pictures of the bread. It was stale.
Zack: I'm sorry for that suck you went through, but that's a really funny story.
[5 minutes later]
Zack: ...now I'm hungry.
Jonathan: Just like Asian food. You eat and an hour later, you're starving again. Mmmm...Sumo-to-Go-Go!
Zack: That sounds so good right now!
Jonathan: Your mom sounds so good right now!
Zack: Your Grandma sounds so good right now!
Jonathan: Too late. I fucked her last night.
Zack: Then who the hell was I fucking?!